7 Ways I'm Investing In Myself

elf-development is something I am rolling over into 2020 from last year. It truly has been a part of my life for quite some time, yet now it is evolving into an active awareness for me as I navigate new chapters. It is a constant struggle to keep myself in balance but the rewards of showing up for myself are great. So, here are seven ways I'm investing in myself currently.

Take up a new hobby 
One of the best things I've ever done for my psyche was to expand my hobbies. It is so easy to get lost on my iPhone with social media or Youtube vlogs. And honestly, my eyes needed a break from the computer screen. I needed to stop scrolling and start doing. So, last summer I re-taught myself how to cross-stitch. I absolutely love it so much, and now I'm diving into the world of embroidery, something I really don't know much about. But, hey that's why there's YouTube, right?


Never miss an eyebrow appointment 
Yep, maintaining my eyebrow shape means a lot to me. I've been doing it since I was about eleven or twelve and I've never looked back since. Somehow it livens up my face, making me feel so much more like myself.


Have a sugar detox 
I am currently on my second (super serious) sugar detox and it always helps my body mentally and physically. Sugar is my weakness and saying goodbye to it for a while is one of the best ways I know how to respect my body. It makes my mind feel more clear, I don't have withdraw headaches, and no more afternoon slumps. A sugar detox is a challenging investment and one that won't be a regular lifestyle habit in my life, but it's one that needs to take place a few times out of the year.


Read all the books 
As an English major, I love learning through the lens of other people's lives. Whether it's within a fiction piece or an autobiography novel it is one of my favorite ways to discover my own personal development. Reading just provides so many beautiful perspectives to view the world.


Put words to paper
Journaling has been such a powerful tool in my life. It is a practice I would love to invest in more, but I find it is a slow process to develop. Somethings are hard to navigate and when I write it all makes sense. I just love how such memories are able to be saved forever, never forgotten.


Spend quality time with my family 
Growing up I've always been taught that friends can come and go but family is forever. The best thing I can do for myself is to be surrounded by my loved ones who truly know me and my greatest passions all while encouraging me through them. Being around my family is such a blessing and they bring out the best of me.


Travel to new places 
Ahh, traveling gives me so much joy. Experiencing new cultures and lifestyles is so refreshing. Through the process of seeing and trying new things radiates a whole new perspective for my life and I love that feeling.

It's Called Growth | Heart&Pen

when you have the audacity to 
look into my eyes and say 
I am no longer the same 
I proudly remind you 
it's called growth 
which I can not do around you


- Jenna Leigh Condon 

My 2020 Resolutions

Ahhh 2020 is here. A fresh new start to enjoy whatever comes my way. I've always loved resolutions but this year is a little different for me. There is a lot of pressure I put on myself to become better than ever in everything. But, I'm trying to put that thought behind me and focus on letting this year be whatever it will be for me. I don't have any plans or big dreams to chase, other than some goals I'm excited to tackle. I learned a lot during this last decade as it held my high school and college days. I just think it's so neat to be entering the 20's in my twenties, lol. Anyways, here are my resolutions.

1. Learn embroidery // For Christmas, I received a lot of the materials needed to start new projects. I have experience with cross-stitch, but it will be fun to learn new types of stitches.

2. Speak more kindly to myself // I've said it before, but I can be very hard on myself. Well, that is why last year my word was grace. Words have a lot of power, and the ones that run through my head every single day need to be more uplifting and full of gratitude this new year.

3. Have more faith // I hope to grow in the word and trust God more deeply.

4. Explore new places // California is so beautiful and I've lived here my whole life with so many more places to experience. I hope to do a lot more day trips to LA and San Diego!

5. Focus on my health // Physically and mentally my health needs to become more of a priority.

6. Maintain my bullet journal // Ahh, I'm so excited to have found such a neat community of fellow bullet journal enthusiasts. The concept of keeping a journal full of stationery and personal thoughts is just right up my alley. I hope to share a few entries soon this year!

My word for 2020 is grow. To grow in all areas of my life. I hope to plant my roots deeply in my faith, shed sunlight on my creative hobbies, water my friendships, and bloom into a more self-confident, independent, and strong version of who I am today. My desire is to grow tall no matter the seasons my anxiety brings. To grow in the freedom of saying no to certain expectations. To grow through my fears. To grow during the joyful moments. To grow in writing and poetry. I'm so excited to see where this year takes me, as I hold onto this word tightly. The words I chose to live by every year are the ones I silently repeat over and over in my mind and heart, as a reminder that everything is going to be okay.



"If you are outgrowing who you've been, you are right on schedule. Keep evolving." 

Taking Time To Reflect: Little Lessons of 2019

How do I even begin to sum up 2019? It's been a long year for me. Saying goodbye to the world I have poured every ounce of myself into was definitely a new challenge. I earned my degree in English and I couldn't be more proud of accomplishing my life long dream. Yet, it was hard to let it go and enter the unknown. Summer felt long this year, but our family vacation in Ventura felt refreshing. I quit my job in retail (woohoo) and took a full-time position at a consulting firm. It feels amazing to be able to begin paying off my student loans. This year I honestly felt so creative and I hope to explore new avenues next year.

Well, I truly don't know what 2020 will have in store for me. It's the first time in my entire life where I don't have any plans. I am just going to take life in short moments and enjoy what comes my way. Before I share my new year's resolutions, let's recap this past year.

1. // You can do anything you put your mind to, even if it takes time. If you forget, just think back to May when you received your degree.

2. // This year I found a love for poetry. I can't wait to slowly begin sharing them on the blog.

3. // I started an art travel journal. I just love using photographs, paint, washi tape, and paper to keep create such a memorial page of my adventures. It's so much more enjoyable when I print out my photos and do something special with them (unlike posting them on Instagram).

4. When I was young I use to cross stitch all the time. I would make tiny little cats or dogs. Somehow I lost the hobby all together come Jr. High. But, this year I began learning the craft all over again and it is my favorite past-time yet.

5. I met my celebrity crush, Jesse McCartney. I think our selfie turned out pretty cute.

6. Back in May, I was a bridesmaid for the second time for my best friend since second grade, Emily. I just love weddings.

7. Going to the Mission Inn Hotel with my mom to celebrate my graduation was just the best.

8. And I ended the year with my sister at Disneyland!

Best Of 2019

hhhh! You guys, 2019 has almost come to an end. I just wanted to take a minute and reflect back on the blog, because it has morphed into many forms for me this year. It truly serves as my milestone and every emotion in between type of space. I have barely blogged this year, and yet I've managed to grow a lot on Bloglovin', bringing my readers to 416! So, thank you! I love seeing new faces around my site. But, with that being said, this post was easy to create due to only publishing 24 posts. Back in the day, I was pushing out triple that amount.

I believe 2019 served as my year for simplicity and quality over quantity. I truly look back on my posts and love what I wrote, how I laid out the content, and the photography style I tried. I hope you have too! :) Let's dive in, here are the top five most-read posts of the year, along with my top four new places I traveled to!!

                GRADUATING WITH MY                  BACHELORS DEGREE 

       FIVE WAYS I WANT TO 
       SWITCH UP MY STYLE 

FIVE THINGS UNIVERSITY

TAUGHT ME 

          PERFECTIONISM,           THE HEART OF IT

I'M FEELIN' 22

  

This year I wasn't heavy in travel, but I ventured back to some of my favorite places. To kick off the year my mom and I celebrated my graduation at the Mission Inn Hotel. It was so relaxing, and so needed after the stress of my capstone course. In July, all of my friends and I bought annual passes to Seaworld and that was a blast in the summertime. For my family vacation, we went back to Ventura Harbor, Santa Barbara, and Carpeteria (all the places I grew up). Oh to be back on the sand with a book in my hand. It's literally all I did, it was awesome. And towards the end of the summer, I went to Balboa Park for the first time ever in San Diego and it was beautiful. You can read all about it here.

Self Development | The Heart Of It

I believe the most beautiful gift we can give ourselves is time. Time to heal, time to learn, time to grow, time to believe, time to trust, and time to discovery. Well, 2019 will be one for the books as it truly opened a new chapter in my life. It has been dedicated to self-development. That word holds so much significance, and rightfully so, but it works very slowly. I have found that self-development takes more time than anything in this world to unfold itself properly. Perhaps, we will never see it do so. It is part of being human. We always have room for improvement. Nevertheless, it is a fundamental concept that I must practice.

I know that right now society loves this concept as it encourages self-help books or teaching. But there is so much more to this practice than speaking little mantras to ourselves. 'I am brave,' 'I am enough,' or 'I can do this,' are sayings that help, yes, but I find them hard to believe. Well, at least enough to actually transform my life.

Self-discovery is challenging because it makes us step out of our comfort zone. Some days I crawl out of my turtle shell and crave more new experiences, then other times I happily stay bundled in my happy place of comfort. It's scary and needed all at the same time. To let walls come down or place new ones in a space we never wanted. It's very personal and looks different for everyone.

My early twenties have shown me something very significant that I'm sure will only become more so the older I become, which is to be okay with not being who I use to be. That transition into adulthood or post-college life is real, rough, and amazing. I find that a lot of time is spent asking questions like 'do I still enjoy this?' or 'will I be good at that?' These questions are the constant thread in my thought process daily as I explore different avenues in my career, friendships, and personal interests. It can be as simple as taking a bite of a seafood dish or entering a new career position.

Something I must say about self-development is that I find it to be a little bit of a taboo subject. Of course not in the positive good for you for taking up Zumba kind of way. It's more in those moments when you realize how ready you are to see more of the world, excited to leave behind your childhood hometown. When you've outgrown an old friend. When you suddenly stop saying yes to everything and put yourself first. It's when others say 'oh she has changed, she's no longer the same.' I say, well, isn't that the point? 

Aren't we supposed to evolve with the life experiences we are given? Time never allows us to stand still. So why should our interests, principals, or personality? One quote that I just love SO much says this; "stop shrinking yourself to fit into places you've outgrown." I love looking back on my life to see that fifteen-year-old girl, so confident and carefree, and still see those qualities shining brightly inside of the twenty-two-year-old I am today. Perhaps, now they are just a little bit more polished, matured, or developed. Who I was in high-school or even college is not the same version I am today. Thankfully, that is due to embracing self-development, which strives me to become a better version of who I was yesterday, last month, or four years ago. What a beautiful thing it is to be constantly discovering new things about myself. After all, that is when I learn the most about growth and grace.

30 Reasons To Be Grateful This November

Creating a gratitude list is something I've implemented more regularly into my life this year. I've truly seen the benefits of taking the time to focus on the good that surrounds me. Whenever I suffer from anxiety or a certain funk it can be hard to feel grateful sometimes. But, I find it's the only thing that pulls me out of my situation and provides a different perspective. Honestly, 2019 has turned out to be completely different than ever planned. Yet, every day my gratitude list grows because I chose to focus on the small things. Here are 30 reasons I can be full of gratitude this month.

1. // Being exposed to poetry during my last semester of college. And enjoying the process of writing my own pieces.
 2. // The well-being of my family.
3. // Going to Disneyland with my sister.
4. //  Changing of leaves so soon in Cali compared to last season.
5. // My pup, Lily, turned 10 years old this month.
6. // Gilmore Girls is still on netflix.
7. // My comfy space around me that makes me feel at peace.
8. // Everyday conversations I get to have with my mom.
9. // Chai tea with vanilla almond milk.
 10. // I'm glad that I was able to not only recognize my need to be off social media during this time but listening to my well-being, despite how hard it can be to not be apart of the daily happenings on Instagram.
11. // Twinkle lights.
12. // To be learning the concept of grace.
13. // Talk solely in movie references with my sister, Hannah.
14. // I gratuated with my Bachelor's degree.
15. // Christmas music by Frank Sinatra.

16. // For creativity in all mediums (paint, photography, and cross-stitching).
17. // Chocolate. Always.
18. // My new job in order entry.
19. // Leopard print is back in style.
21. // Found a new hobby, cross-stitching, that allows me to be creative and work with my hands.
22. // Being able to pray for anything.
23. // Homemade cooking.
24. // Laughter, because it makes me feel free.
25. // California beaches.
26. // My gold jewelry.
27. // Early cold mornings.
28. // I was able to be a bridesmaid for the second time for my best friend, Emily!
29. // My short haircut.
30. // This blog of mine. Throughout these seven years, it has served so many purposes for me. I love being able to express myself fully, along with meeting so many sweet readers in this blogosphere.

Sea Shore | Heart&Pen

I want to feel as though I grew 
I want to feel twenty-two 
I want to be surrounded by the ocean blue 
to let my body go and just be 
to feel strong and carefree 
I want to desperately fall in love with this water 
for it to change me somehow inside 
I want to feel alive 
but here I am sitting on the shore
with no desire to explore 

the ocean possesses a type of power that can take hold
of everything we love most 
it is capable of capturing the essence of life 
some may even call it the divine 
but everything that lives disappoints 
the water is powerful and oh so deep 
to ever escape all that live under the sea
down below is its own little kingdom that responds 
solely to their master regardless of the 
consequences that entangle all who enter 

so I stay on the sand where I can be my own master 
it is easy to dream but clearly my version would only produce disaster 

- Jenna Leigh Condon 

Three New Things | October

Long-time no talk, eh? Well, I am coming at you with a few reasons as to why that has been such a hard habit to break lately. I absolutely love reading blogs, but when it comes to creating my own posts, man is it hard. But, I have been trying to create something different here that I can actually obtain realistically. Those outfit styled photoshoots or how-to posts are probably long gone. So, hopefully, you are down for less styled content and more journal-type entries that speak solely on matters of the heart. Okay, my rant is over. Onto some updates for the month of October...

I cut my hair short. Okay, so back in March I had my routinely scheduled haircut appointment, but barely had a trim so in my graduation photos I would have long hair. Well, I never followed up in the summer-time, so here I am with super long hair (probably the longest I've ever had) and very unhealthy. It was so thin and damaged. I knew it needed at least 3 inches cut off. Well, it was more like 5 inches once I sat in that chair. It hasn't been this short since senior year of high school (any OG readers remember that?) I have to say I love it so much! Now I just need to learn new ways to style it, haha.

Already 26 days into my social media break. That's right, your girl deleted her Instagram and Facebook apps on her iPhone. I honestly was so tired of being bogged down by the weight of it all. My mental health has been a lot this summer, and social media was not helping at all. You know it's time to say goodbye for a while when it leaves you feeling tainted. I don't know when I'll pop back on, but for now, I'm just enjoying the silence.

Goodbye retail, hello order entry! Ahhh, you guys this is such exciting news for me. I quit my job in retail and took a full-time position as an order entry specialist. Working retail taught me so much (like can we just put those jeans back on the correct shelf, or say hello back to your cashier?) but I began feeling so irritated by every little thing. You know it is time to leave your job when it no longer challenges you to become a better version of yourself. Bottom line, it is not where my passion lies. So, it has been one week since I started my new position, and I love it so much already. A professional environment is just completely my vibe. I enjoy wearing blazers and high heels to work. Working at a desk just makes me so happy. I think I am really going to love this change.

5 Things University Taught Me

oday, your University graduate is finally taking some time to go down memory lane and reflect on some of the hardest and most exciting times from these past four years. My college experience felt like a long road, compared to high school. I chose the community college path before fulfilling my dream of university life, which didn't meet the hype of my expectations as I envisioned. And that brought me to finish my Bachelor's degree online at California Baptist University. Every step has strengthened me in so many ways, I'll never regret the decisions that were made along the way.

I have talked a lot about my college experience on the blog, but they only reflect the mindset and lifestyle of my freshman and sophomore years. So, below are the most significant life lessons university taught me, which just happens to have taken place during my upperclassman years.

1. Criticism is the foundation of growth // Typing out that sentence gives me the chills. Mostly, because criticism is what I fear most. It was a lesson that tested me in my journalism course at Vanguard. The class size was no more than eight, but every few weeks when our articles were due, we would gather around in a large circle and share our documents with everyone on google docs to make comments in one space. These comments were given verbally, face-to-face, so hiding behind our laptop screens weren't an option. Whenever it became my turn for my article to be edited, I just wanted to crawl under the table. Talk about an immediate way to make my stomach drop, especially around writers that I admired and wish I could imitate in my own writing.

I believe, that in high school we are so encouraged to just tackle assignments that we walk away receiving too many 'gold stars' just for the sake of completion. Please, do not let me fool you into believing that I would enjoy less 'gold stars' but at times I entered certain courses with the mindset of "I've always been an A student for my essays." This, in turn, would completely shatter my spirit and enthusiasm if I ever received anything less.

So, it was during these moments, hearing from my classmates about how my article needed to be improved or even praised, I gained an appreciation for criticism. It has made me a stronger writer. After all, I am not choosing to pay such a high tuition rate to hear how amazing my writing is by my professors.

2. You are more capable than you realize // I absolutely loved being in college, because it brought out my extremely motivated side. I enjoyed the hustle of assignments, proving myself to new professors, brainstorming with classmates, and ultimately staying on track with my goals to graduate. But, at times, it wasn't always that simple. I had so many highs and lows, mentally and physically. I worked so hard to succeed, that I faced so much conflict like never before, but I stood my ground. My list could go on and on with moments that I spent too much time worrying about, but at the end of the day, I did it. Through the mess and through the joys, I did it. Girl, give yourself more credit next time.

3. Self-care for me does not involve Netflix // Most valuable piece of information I discovered about myself in college, is that Netflix is not self-care. Rather, it is an escape mechanism that leads to more problems than needed. Self-care is not about giving in to guilty pleasures. It is replenishing parts of myself that become drained at the end of the week. Here is what I do now; practice inward gratitude by keeping a journal, write poetry, treat myself to a mani/pedi, stay on top of my skincare routine, honor the boundaries that I put in place for those around me, say yes to more experiences, and take a bath. 

4. Dorm life wasn't everything, and that is okay // My first and only year living in the dorms taught me that I didn't need my own space to learn true independence. Deep down, I knew this all along. I let the ideals of a college experience could my ability to know who I truly am. Despite all the ups and downs of living in the dorms, it was needed to show me that, perhaps, true independence is realizing that it will only blossom when we are staying true to ourselves. Even though all the pressure, I had to overcome, I've finally accepted that the dorm life didn't have to be my holy grail when it came to my overall college experience.

5. Writing or analyzing poetry inspires me // Thanks to my British Poetry course, I now find so much joy in not only understanding the realm of poetry but actually writing it myself. I love it so much that I just decided to share a few on the blog now, so be sure to look out for future little poems that represent my heart at all times.

Butterfly Fly Away | Heart&Pen

Patterns of rhythm or a life of perfection are what I long to keep 
I have been this way all my life 
I use to believe it was a virtue to strive for excellence 
but now I see you come along 
the sky so blue 
catching the wind as it comes through 
a pure vision of transformation 
able to come and go whenever you please
all while my mind stays consumed
with the opinions and expectations that surround me 
so I look to you 
the one who flutters with such freedom 
perhaps one day I too will master the ability to 
stretch out my wings so boldly like you do 

- Jenna Leigh Condon 

Perfectionism | The Heart Of It

erfectionism is a funny thing. Desperately do we seek such an unobtainable personality trait, and then fall apart wondering if it is because we aren't doing enough. A performer through and through am I, but many times do I find myself trapped in a perfectionist mindset. Why? Because I do not want others to see me as weak. I would rather drop due to exhaustion rather than defeat, so I keep going to produce. Productivity can come in many forms, just as long as they are perfect enough to meet a standard. We all have that one area in our life that must appear perfect (or for some, all areas). Personally, I see this shine through with my longing to obtain perfect grades, beautifully captured photographs, an organized calendar, and goals to tackle. I believed (and sometimes still do) that these things would make me feel strong. They would bring me power. I would appear capable.

Isn't that the definition of perfectionism?...the ability to appear put together in order for others to believe that we are more capable than originally perceived. That, however, is my take on this concept. Well, I am tired of proving myself. I shouldn't have to achieve anything on a scale of perfection in order for it to count.

To kick off my summer in May after I graduated, I spent a few days away at The Mission Inn Hotel with my mom to finally feel free of deadlines and anxiety. For the first time since I began blogging back in 2012, I left my DSLR camera at home. I didn't want to be bothered with finding the perfect lighting or worry if it'll fit in my bag. Every corner of that hotel deserved to have its photograph taken, and I often wished I brought my camera along. After all, an iPhone can only do so much. But, it was during these moments that I learned to be more present.

To be present is a new discovery for me. It means leaving behind all that I care about; chasing after all, that appears and feels the most perfect I can make it. Resting in any capacity takes great contentment, which is the opposite of perfectionism. Reading by the pool felt more calming than ever before. Why? Because I realized how much my body use to had to function in order to be a high-capacity type of person. I never let my mind rest or my shoulders drop. Instead, I filled my body with tension and thoughts that turned into anxiety. Being present is more about caring about the simple things; bare face of makeup, tea in a childhood mug, or taking the time to journal.

Perfectionism has us believe that "if I look perfect if I work perfectly if I act perfect and do everything perfectly" it will exempt us from the feelings we hide from; judgment or shame. After all, isn't that why I feel a need to display such perfectionism? If my life looks put together than I can escape all disappoint or opinions from others, and instead only feed off of their praise. I cannot be naive and believe that this type of mindset could ever be cured, but there are ways I am going to stop falling into the trap.

Trying to keep up this image only creates exhaustion, fear, and keeping people at arm's length. Being perfect is just not real. I've found that my intention was to be able to "fit in" but in the end, it only makes me less relatable to the world around me. No one is able to have a connection that is built on trust and compassion if perfectionism is the foundation. We must allow for some cracks to bleed through if we ever wish to make an impact on someone's life, or simply our own. I challenge you (and myself) to stop being so busy trying to be perfect, but more present.

Summer Day Trip To Balboa Park In San Diego

his post is long overdue, as these photos are a few weeks old now. But, this was such a special day for my best friend and I. Being a Cali girl my whole life I had to venture into Balboa Park, and it did not disappoint. From the buildings, gardens, and art in every nook and cranny, this space is a true treasure in San Diego. We were able to have free entrance access to a few museums, which is something I would love to do more of in the future. Emily treated me to a beautiful lunch at Prado Restaurant and thankfully their lemonade spritzer cooled us down from that 95-degree heat.

On a completely separate note, I have to admit that I feel out of practice writing on the blog. I suppose that is because ever since college I all focused on was typing out my feelings. Regardless, this space is to hold special memories and thoughts. I believe these photos capture that perfectly. I have SO much to update, but for now, these photographs will have to do the talking for me.