I've posted a coffee talk similar to this one, titled "Self Doubt," however I want to take the basic idea, and expand. A lot of this is obviously self doubt, but I want this doubt to be viewed in a different light, and hopefully it will impact some of you, in a whole new way. I need to post this for myself, through the healing process of this stage of life that I am going through, and the choices that I have to make during these situations.Thanks for understanding, and for reading!
Some voices that run through my mind are crippling. They become a constant echo that never fades. I feel like they're screaming at me, trying to wake me, or to drive me insane. They control my every move, every emotion, and every word. They make me want to curl up in a ball in the corner of my bedroom, sway back and forth, whispering to myself that everything will be alright. They're mean, ruthless, and depressing. At times, they can suck the life out of me, leaving my confidence weak. They attack my every being, whispering lies and when given time, become truths.
These voices tell me:
You're too emotional. You're an introvert. You learn too slow. You're a failure. You are a negative nelly. Stop acting so fake. You're unpopular. You're a dreamer not a doer. You are a copycat. You're stubborn. You are a scaredy cat. You're boring. You're unoriginal. You're very stuck up. You are never going to be smart enough. You're antisocial. You're lazy. You are unfriendly. You're too mean at times. You're a wishful thinker. You are helpless. You're style is too plain jane. You're selfish. You are crazy. You're rude. You're a nobody. You're not talented...and the list continues!
I've been doing a lot of reading lately in my English class, and therefore it's produced a lot of thinking about our society and the things we as individuals have to deal with everyday of our lives. One topic that's really spoke to me personally, is how many lies we actually believe. That's what these voices are, lies! For many, these lies come from friends, school, clubs, family members, media, celebrities, etc. No matter where they come from, or who feeds them to us, they are effective and alive. For myself personal, the media is my strongest asset to these lies. The media suggests that I should change my style because it's not "trendy" or "in" this season, that I'm not considered smart if I don't chose the University path, or that all my ideas are unoriginal because some magazine already covered that same topic/issue. My society tells me that I'm a slow learner and a failure because I don't have my liscence yet. TV shows point out that us girls are too emotional, crazy, and ditzy. Culture says that us introverts are antisocial, weird around large groups, too quiet, and useless to the community.
It's true, I find myself believing these lies more often than I tend to realize. Whoever came up with the statement that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," obviously never lived a day in society. Words are real. Words can cause more damage than actions themselves. Words act as a weapon, and they have the power to cut deep, create wounds, and produce bleeding. It's embarrassing to admit that I believe these lies, because I acknowledge every fault, yet I still manage to fall into this trap...letting these voices rumble around inside my mind.
I believe the reason so many people feel ashamed about openly admitting to their own voices, is because our society has done an excellent job at telling us that we are these lies. We are XYZ. It's time that these voices escaped. Call them out. Write them down on a piece of paper, open your laptop document page, run to your diary, or verbally call them out. Spill it all out. Every feeling, every fault, every lie. Combat them with the truth. Replace them with your excellent traits. Write down the qualities that God has blessed you with.
We always manage to talk about our problems, fears, issues, and so forth. However, never about our praises, blessings, or good news. We always acknowledge all of our faults, and try to fix them. Never acknowledging our talents, or strengths. Instead of focusing on our daily struggles, let's applaud our character traits. As women, we give excellent complements. We can give a compliment to anything our eyes look at "I love those ripped jeans, I've always wanted a pair like those," "omg you look great with short hair" "you definitely know how to rock glitter," "wow you paint your nails like every week, and it always matches your outfit," "your eyebrows are so perfect, is that a weird?" It's an opening statement to begin a conversation with someone we've never met. A compliment allows the conversation to take off, opening up other questions to ask, and get to know someone. Not only do women know exactly what compliment to give, but we love receiving them. When we buy a new outfit, or change our hairstyle, we automatically expect a compliment. How often is it when a women compliments another woman's character? Why does it always have to be about appearance? If women started to address other's virtues, I believe it would impact our world, like no other.
Psalms 139:14 states it perfectly "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well." We are precious women of God, and no lie can ever take that away from us. So kick those lies to the curb, make them visible to the light, and let them escape. You are much more, and deserve more than those lies. Don't just write out your inner voices, or simply tell yourself the truths. Rather believe them. Write the truths on your mirror, notecards, on the side of your day planner, on the back of your door, beside your bed, make it your iPhone wallpaper...anything you have to do, to remind yourself of these truths, because just like your lies given time, you will believe them.
