5.28.2014

Coffee Talk / Self Doubt


Self doubt is crippling. It's worse than the loud out spoken voices, because self doubt is awaken from deep down inside. It steals your dreams and life accomplishes, and turns them into dust. When you start to have new ideas and thoughts of completing personal goals, self doubt is the voice in your head telling you it can't happen, your not good enough, it's too far away and not close enough for your reach.

I often have voices in my head telling me;
Your a perfectionist. Your not smart enough. Your too hard on yourself. You stress over the smallest things. You don't do enough. Your a procrastinator. Your too flexible. Your such an introvert. Your not worthy. You can't do it all. Your voice isn't beautiful. Your not creative. Your blog isn't popular.

I have come to the realization that self doubt are lies from the world, lies that you've heard others speak, and lies from deep inside you. Self doubt steals your confidence. Corrupts your dreams and ideas for the future. It eliminates your self worth in Christ. And self doubt ultimately ruins who you really are.


Where does self doubt come from? Why does it even exist? Self doubt comes from the voices outside your head and then they slowly sink in. You start to chew on the things people say about you, your personality, body shape, school grades, or even your career. It begins with a teacher telling you that your not smart enough for college, a girl telling you that your ugly, or social media telling you that your not popular enough and don't have any friends! Your too this, not enough of that. And then the voices and lack of confidence takes over.

I've never really had to deal with negativity from others or outside my realm of friends but then came the internet, which is a totally different story. The social media is full of people who are negative and mean. They won't always agree with you or like your opinions. When it comes to reading comments you can't see peoples facial expressions or body language or the tone in their voice when speaking. Everything written that's on the internet is permanent. No one can re-state what their talking about, or back peddle. What's said is said.

This is the point when you need to determine what voices matter to you. Which ones are real and true? What people you can turn to for support, honesty, love, critic, or answers? For me I have little and few voices I choose to listen to via the internet. That doesn't mean I dislike the internet or feel like comments on my blog are unpleasant. If that was the case, I would disable the comments on my blog, or simply not blog at all. You're going to have negative people everywhere you go. It's life and sadly human nature. It's not about only doing things in life that won't lead to self doubt because of certain people, but how to coop with it. How to guard yourself in those moments. When to let those voices in and when to throw them in the trash pile.

Blogging can be a scary thing. Usually a blog is open to the public and anyone anywhere can read it. Photos of you, posts about your life, and your beliefs, all of those are seen. Your blog is basically an open living room. Everyone can come on in, and read all about your life. Their able to stay there as long as they want, and critic anything they please. They might scroll through all your outfit posts with friends. Their fully welcomed in, and are able to feel cozy with your content while learning all about you. And they just might bring a cup of coffee or tea with them. But it isn't your readers living room, it's yours. You don't have to let certain people stay there. You have control on what you allow yourself to listen to. Because ultimately no one knows you like your family or life long friends.

For the two years I've been blogging, I too have dealt with this. No one truly knows me. They cannot see the real Jenna through a laptop screen. Because not everything about me is displayed through my blog posts. Somethings are hidden and certain topics are my personal secrets. So as we all know through blogging we are always hearing opinions about our blog, personality, body image, or popularity rank. But just remember that when your about to go take the downward self doubt spiral to not compare yourself with others. I truly believe self doubt is the root of not believing, or feeling confident in yourself. Once you learn to love yourself for all your imperfections and flaws then self doubt won't be an obstacle you constantly have to overcome. "Happiness is only found when you stop comparing yourself to others." Christ loves you, for all your sins, mistakes, and flaws. Your never going to feel confident if you don't have Christ in your life, telling you that your worth more than rubies! Every person is truly a beautiful gem in God's eyes! Proverbs 3:15 "She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her."



I also have some exciting news; I finally created a facebook account for A Beautiful Heart! Be sure to give me a "like" here

19 comments :

  1. Such a great post! :) it look greats
    ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡
    Do you want to follow each other on instagram? I'm @chicstreetchoc! Thank uuu
    FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK
    CHIC STREET CHOC

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  2. Beautiful words, always! And yes, self doubt definitley has a way of creeping in and stealing our right to shine! I've learned to just forge forward no matter what, and learn to treat myself with kindness and not let the self doubt take over, but it can definitley be a challenge some days!! Thank you for sharing this, you're lovely!! xoxo

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  3. beautiful post!!! love your optimism!! :D

    Animated Confessions

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  4. Too true.... it's sad. We are our own worst enimies sometimes. Great post... I wish more people spoke out about this topic.
    xoxo
    Taylor
    http://www.nothingbutapigeon.com/

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  5. This is such a beautiful post on such a real topic! Lovely blog dear!
    xoxo
    Pineapples & Daisies

    (Is that a chocolate croissant from Starbucks up top? tehe I'm kinda in love with those)

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  6. I know it is hard to be able to know someone completely through a computer screen, but I see a godly woman that seeks Him and honestly that is all that matters. :) Your blog is amazing, Jenna! I absolutely love reading it. Don't let those doubts make a home in that wonderful mind of yours.

    http://haleybrianna.blogspot.com

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    1. Awh thanks Haley! That means alot. I love your blog too, and i;m so glad we met through blogging + our giveaway together :)

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  7. Self doubt, I know it too well. And I love this post for putting my thoughts into words.

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  8. So true. I really needed this today =) Thanks beautiful

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  9. Yes Jenna, keep Jesus in your life and true happiness will surface. I'm so pleased you realize this, dear. And what better way to discuss this than over a good cup of coffee and chocolate croissant. Thank you for reminding me that I'm more precious than rubies.

    love,
    ~Sheri

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  10. Thanks for stopping by! You're pretty adorable yourself. :D

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  11. Hey beauty love ur new post .Keep posting .
    Regards from Bosnia ♥
    http://obsessionwithfashion.blogspot.com/

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  12. Nice :)

    http://trapeziovermelho.blogspot.pt

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  13. Jenna, this was beautiful. Just what I needed to hear and totally what I am feeling right now in my life. Everything you mentioned is exactly what I'm going through! Somehow these feelings come in waves in my life, and right now I feel the self-doubt coming back into my mind. thanks for this beautiful reminder and being such an inspiration!

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  14. So good! I struggle with the same as well...

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  15. "Once you learn to love yourself for all your imperfections and flaws then self doubt won't be an obstacle you constantly have to overcome"

    And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9;23

    I know you provably have the right intentions in doing this, but the Bible says to basically kill our flesh not love it. Die to our flesh not let it live.

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    1. Yes thank you for that. I 100% agree with what you have to say, and I felt like I made it clear in this post, especially at the end. I stated "You are never going to feel confident without Christ in your life..." I feel like even though you have Christ in your life, at times you aren't going to feel beautiful, or confident. Just because you have Christ doesn't mean your life will be perfect and wonderful. There's going to be hardships and pain, and doubt in life. Therefore I feel like you have to start with yourself. If you cannot even accept yourself then life becomes harder. Just Because you can have Christ in your life you can still hate many things about yourself, and all your flaws.

      Christ will always love you, and forgive you of your sins. Without God it is impossible to have any real means of self worth. Because the world cannot make you happy or give you joy the way Christ does. So with that being said, I hope i didn't offend you, but hopefully you're able to see how some people need accept themselves for who they are, even though they have Christ in their life.

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  16. This post is extremely inspiring. You're a very gifted writer. Keep doing you and never stop! :)
    BEKARTI

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