Self Development | The Heart Of It

I believe the most beautiful gift we can give ourselves is time. Time to heal, time to learn, time to grow, time to believe, time to trust, and time to discovery. Well, 2019 will be one for the books as it truly opened a new chapter in my life. It has been dedicated to self-development. That word holds so much significance, and rightfully so, but it works very slowly. I have found that self-development takes more time than anything in this world to unfold itself properly. Perhaps, we will never see it do so. It is part of being human. We always have room for improvement. Nevertheless, it is a fundamental concept that I must practice.

I know that right now society loves this concept as it encourages self-help books or teaching. But there is so much more to this practice than speaking little mantras to ourselves. 'I am brave,' 'I am enough,' or 'I can do this,' are sayings that help, yes, but I find them hard to believe. Well, at least enough to actually transform my life.

Self-discovery is challenging because it makes us step out of our comfort zone. Some days I crawl out of my turtle shell and crave more new experiences, then other times I happily stay bundled in my happy place of comfort. It's scary and needed all at the same time. To let walls come down or place new ones in a space we never wanted. It's very personal and looks different for everyone.

My early twenties have shown me something very significant that I'm sure will only become more so the older I become, which is to be okay with not being who I use to be. That transition into adulthood or post-college life is real, rough, and amazing. I find that a lot of time is spent asking questions like 'do I still enjoy this?' or 'will I be good at that?' These questions are the constant thread in my thought process daily as I explore different avenues in my career, friendships, and personal interests. It can be as simple as taking a bite of a seafood dish or entering a new career position.

Something I must say about self-development is that I find it to be a little bit of a taboo subject. Of course not in the positive good for you for taking up Zumba kind of way. It's more in those moments when you realize how ready you are to see more of the world, excited to leave behind your childhood hometown. When you've outgrown an old friend. When you suddenly stop saying yes to everything and put yourself first. It's when others say 'oh she has changed, she's no longer the same.' I say, well, isn't that the point? 

Aren't we supposed to evolve with the life experiences we are given? Time never allows us to stand still. So why should our interests, principals, or personality? One quote that I just love SO much says this; "stop shrinking yourself to fit into places you've outgrown." I love looking back on my life to see that fifteen-year-old girl, so confident and carefree, and still see those qualities shining brightly inside of the twenty-two-year-old I am today. Perhaps, now they are just a little bit more polished, matured, or developed. Who I was in high-school or even college is not the same version I am today. Thankfully, that is due to embracing self-development, which strives me to become a better version of who I was yesterday, last month, or four years ago. What a beautiful thing it is to be constantly discovering new things about myself. After all, that is when I learn the most about growth and grace.