Times of Change

Change is something I have never liked. Never known how to deal with it, and actually I'm still trying to figure out how to coop with it. I guess it's because I get too comfortable in one place and area in my life that change seems so extreme and too much of a difference than what I'm use to. This year though I have experienced to much change, and I feel my life is only full of change.

Thirteen years ago my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was sitting on his optic nerve. I was only four years old at the time and I don't remember anything about it. Anything I've heard has only been full of past memories and experiences but it has never had an affect on me. Mostly, because for one I was too little, & two my dad was able to have radiation which helped kill the tumor making it not active and dead. They always had to keep an eye on it, but they guaranteed that the radiation would last for about 10 years. Well just a few months ago my dad had his yearly check-in appointments with his doctor and MRI scans, and we found out that my dad's tumor is growing and is now active. So my dad is going to have to do another round of radiation treatment which is going to be very hard on his body and brain because he's already had a full dose of it ten years ago! We also received more bad news, that they have found a second tumor near his brain stem. We weren't prepared for this at all and the radiation is going to be much harder and stronger! 

My dad's treatment is going to last for the next six weeks and he actually started two weeks ago. So we have just begun this new course, well sorta. We decided to use UCLA for our hospital because they have the best technology and trained doctors. From where we live now the drive is about two hours without traffic one way. So commuting isn't an option. Thankfully we have been provided with an apartment out in LA for the next six weeks, that way it's easier and literally three blocks away from our apartment. This whole new change has been hard and isn't going to be short. Plus I know how awful my dad is going to feel because of his treatment, and I can already tell & we are only ten days into the 28 days total we have!

Because I still have classes my sister and I aren't going to be able to stay in LA with my parents, so we are going to be staying with my grandparents until my dad's treatment ends. Right now my emotions are all over the place, and things have been rough! I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks of just being away from my family, and comfort zones. I just cannot wait until this is all over and done with!

This new chapter is going to be completely out of my comfort zone and a little challenging. Hence the fact that my blogging has been put on pause or just slower than normal! I haven't been in the mood to blog lately because of how I've been feeling & I didn't feel up to taking outfit posts because it would only be full of fake smiles and forcing laughter. I have no idea why this is happening but I know God has everything in control. I truly believe God does his best work during trials and I'm holding on to the fact that he is going to show us something good out of this. I just have to be patient and wait for God's timing, which is anything but easy but I know that it will be worth it. Psalms 119:50 states "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."