Self doubt is crippling. It's worse than the loud out spoken voices, because self doubt is awaken from deep down inside. It steals your dreams and life accomplishes, and turns them into dust. When you start to have new ideas and thoughts of completing personal goals, self doubt is the voice in your head telling you it can't happen, your not good enough, it's too far away and not close enough for your reach.
I often have voices in my head telling me;
Your a perfectionist. Your not smart enough. Your too hard on yourself. You stress over the smallest things. You don't do enough. Your a procrastinator. Your too flexible. Your such an introvert. Your not worthy. You can't do it all. Your voice isn't beautiful. Your not creative. Your blog isn't popular.
I have come to the realization that self doubt are lies from the world, lies that you've heard others speak, and lies from deep inside you. Self doubt steals your confidence. Corrupts your dreams and ideas for the future. It eliminates your self worth in Christ. And self doubt ultimately ruins who you really are.
Where does self doubt come from? Why does it even exist? Self doubt comes from the voices outside your head and then they slowly sink in. You start to chew on the things people say about you, your personality, body shape, school grades, or even your career. It begins with a teacher telling you that your not smart enough for college, a girl telling you that your ugly, or social media telling you that your not popular enough and don't have any friends! Your too this, not enough of that. And then the voices and lack of confidence takes over.
I've never really had to deal with negativity from others or outside my realm of friends but then came the internet, which is a totally different story. The social media is full of people who are negative and mean. They won't always agree with you or like your opinions. When it comes to reading comments you can't see peoples facial expressions or body language or the tone in their voice when speaking. Everything written that's on the internet is permanent. No one can re-state what their talking about, or back peddle. What's said is said.
This is the point when you need to determine what voices matter to you. Which ones are real and true? What people you can turn to for support, honesty, love, critic, or answers? For me I have little and few voices I choose to listen to via the internet. That doesn't mean I dislike the internet or feel like comments on my blog are unpleasant. If that was the case, I would disable the comments on my blog, or simply not blog at all. You're going to have negative people everywhere you go. It's life and sadly human nature. It's not about only doing things in life that won't lead to self doubt because of certain people, but how to coop with it. How to guard yourself in those moments. When to let those voices in and when to throw them in the trash pile.
Blogging can be a scary thing. Usually a blog is open to the public and anyone anywhere can read it. Photos of you, posts about your life, and your beliefs, all of those are seen. Your blog is basically an open living room. Everyone can come on in, and read all about your life. Their able to stay there as long as they want, and critic anything they please. They might scroll through all your outfit posts with friends. Their fully welcomed in, and are able to feel cozy with your content while learning all about you. And they just might bring a cup of coffee or tea with them. But it isn't your readers living room, it's yours. You don't have to let certain people stay there. You have control on what you allow yourself to listen to. Because ultimately no one knows you like your family or life long friends.
For the two years I've been blogging, I too have dealt with this. No one truly knows me. They cannot see the real Jenna through a laptop screen. Because not everything about me is displayed through my blog posts. Somethings are hidden and certain topics are my personal secrets. So as we all know through blogging we are always hearing opinions about our blog, personality, body image, or popularity rank. But just remember that when your about to go take the downward self doubt spiral to not compare yourself with others. I truly believe self doubt is the root of not believing, or feeling confident in yourself. Once you learn to love yourself for all your imperfections and flaws then self doubt won't be an obstacle you constantly have to overcome. "Happiness is only found when you stop comparing yourself to others." Christ loves you, for all your sins, mistakes, and flaws. Your never going to feel confident if you don't have Christ in your life, telling you that your worth more than rubies! Every person is truly a beautiful gem in God's eyes! Proverbs 3:15 "She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her."
I also have some exciting news; I finally created a facebook account for A Beautiful Heart! Be sure to give me a "like" here.
