The Heart Of It | Sorry Not Sorry



*Yes, I have this Justin Bieber song playing while writing this post, no shame & If you know the next rock! Okay, okay putting the Biebs aside, let's just jump right into today's coffee talk post because it's been a long learning lesson I'm finally ready to share. Saying sorry all the time has become the word I use for everything. I say sorry when I hear someone is sick, while I'm apologizing for being late, hearing about one's crazy life, or for having to cancel an appointment. 'Sorry' is my number one word, and I'm exhausted of the burden such a small word holds. Because even though I may say it fifty times a day, I don't always mean it. #sorrynotsorry. 

Using the word sorry to express emotion and true feelings while apologizing for something serious isn't the issue. The issue for me personally is that when I respond with the word sorry all the time, the blame immediately is placed on myself, as I am the one responsible. Of course I make mistakes and need to apologize, and that's on me. But, it's the simple situations like when my friend has a ton of homework, or dealing with roommate issue' sorry the word that's going to fix everything? No! And not to mention the way it makes me feel. Sorry sometimes is a cover up, or a word I use when I don't know what else to say. To me, sorry means whatever, who cares, let's move on. It doesn't fix problems, make people feel better, or provides much sympathy, at times.

So here's how I've been fixing this problem of mine. I've been replacing my sorry's with thank you's. When I'm running late I no longer spend five minutes explaining my crazy morning, instead I say thank you for waiting for me. I've already made the entrance about myself with being late, so I immediately acknowledge my friend and give some gratitude. Instead of saying sorry when I cancel an appointment, I say thank you for understanding. If I'm giving someone a ride and my car is a mess, I no longer apologize for it by saying sorry, I say thank you for not caring about my pile of trash in the back seat. Or when a friend surprises me with a gift and I don't have one for them, I don't say sorry I left your's at home, I simply say thank you for thinking of me, and spoiling me today. 

This coffee talk isn't as usually deep I sometime's make them, but I think this concept is such a great reminder for all of us. Not only is it something we can correct, but it also a response our friends are tired of hearing as well. It's all about making that shift of negativity, to complete gratitude with the conversations your having. It's refreshing to say thank you, and I personally see the benefits of this response rather than constantly apologizing for something, I really would care a less about. At times this word still slips, and sometimes it's necessary, but I feel a lot more free when I ditch it all together. What are some ways you can stop saying sorry when your not? Let me know in the comments. 


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